What is love bombing? It is a clear expression of genuine love and care. Most of us think this, am I right? But what if I told you that it isn’t what you thought?
And there is more to that, and things are not good all the time.
Let’s just slow down for a second and get ourselves out of the trap.
At first, love bombing feels like living in a dream. You receive instant gifts, constant compliments, and all the attention you could ask for.
Keep me around till the end, and you will understand the difference between love and love bombing.
Let’s explore this and figure it out together.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is when someone gives you constant attention, affection, and compliments all at once.
It feels really nice at first, like you’re super special. But sometimes, this isn’t about real love.
The person tries to make you depend on them and then control you later.
True love grows slowly, like a plant. If someone’s love feels too fast or too much, it’s okay to step back and think about how it makes you feel.
Always trust your gut feelings.
Love bombing psychology
Love bombing is a psychological behavior and there are some reasons why people love bomb.
Let’s get into it.
Why do people love bomb?
1. Insecurity
Insecurity is the state when person is unsure about themselves. They think they are not good enough. They feel people don’t like them.
They begin giving lots of attention, hugs, and compliments to their partner so they will feel loved and important. This is known as “love bombing.”
They want to hear that they’re special and needed. But the moment the momentary feeling goes away, so does their anxiety.
So again, they require more attention to feel fine. This sometimes puts a pressure on the other person too.
2. Fear of rejection
Fear of rejection is when someone is scared that their partner will leave them. They make them feel nervous and worried about being alone.
However, this can create a bit of tension because one person is always trying too hard to keep the other from leaving.
3. Emotional manipulation
Emotional manipulation means the partner is looking to control how you act by dominating your emotions.
The intention behind doing this is that the partner wants you to feel so special and loved.
The goal is to make the other person depend on them for love and care.
In the end, the person doing the love bombing wants to have more control over what their partner feels.
4. Desire for quick commitment
Sometimes, people use love bombing to make their relationship move faster. They give their partner a lot of love, attention, and nice words to make them feel really special.
They do this because they want to quickly feel close and make the other person commit to the relationship.
They think that if they do this, it will make them feel safe and stop any worries.
5. Low self-esteem
A person does not feel good about himself is termed as low self-esteem. They think they’re not smart, pretty, and lovable.
Due to this, they want to hear kind words from others to feel better. Love bombing is when they give a lot of love, hugs, and nice words to their partner.
As a result, they expect their partner should say some kind words back.
6. Past trauma or attachment issues
Sometimes, people experience very hurtful things, like losing someone they care about.
And to feel better, they try to connect quickly by giving lots of love, attention, and compliments. This is called “love bombing.”
They do this because it makes them feel safe and helps them avoid the fear of being left alone.
7. Narcissistic tendencies
A person with narcissistic tendencies loves to make everything about themselves. They crave to be seen as extraordinary by others.
At first, they give their partner a lot of attention, say lots of nice things, and show tons of love.
They do this to make their partner feel really special, but deep down, they just want to feel important.
After the partner is really hooked and feels close to them, the narcissist partner start giving less love and attention.
They do this to make the partner feel like they need them and keep them wanting more.
It’s a way of controlling the relationship so the narcissist can stay in charge.
Signs of love bombing
Address the signs of love bombing earlier to avoid challenges in your life.
Here are some common signs of love bombing:
1. Excessive compliments
Excessive compliments are when someone keeps saying a lot of nice things about you, but it feels too much.
For instance, if you have just met a person and he keeps telling you, “You’re perfect.”
You are happy at first, but then if he continues to say that it gets weird. You question whether they actually mean it.
2. Unrealistic promises
Unrealistic promises are when someone says big things too soon, like, “I want to marry you”.
In reality they’ve only known the person for a short time.
At first, these promises sound exciting, like a fairy tale. But Relationships take time to grow.
And making such big promises too fast can feel a little too much. It’s important to take things step by step to build something real.
3. Extreme jealousy
We are social animals, and we can’t stay isolate for long. Right.
Therefore, we spend time with family, friends and collogues. But you hang out with other people they feel jealous and gives you more attention.
It seems nice because it looks like they care, but later, it can feel like they’re trying to control you.
4. Creating dependency
At the start of a relationship, some people always make sure they’re there for you. They give you lots of attention and are around when you need them.
It feels really nice at first because you feel important and loved.
But after a while, you start needing them more and more.
You think that you can’t be happy and strong without them. You begin to depend on them.
5. Fast-moving relationship
In a fast-moving relationship, some people try to make everything happen too quickly. They talk about big things like getting married, right away.
They make it seem like everything is happening naturally. However, in reality they are pushing you to make decisions faster than you feel comfortable with.
It makes you feel stressed and confused, not sure if you’re really ready because you’re being pressured.
6. Making you feel special and unique
Love bombers make you feel special when you meet at first time. They offer you gifts additionally compliments you.
They try to become really close too quickly.
7. Constant need for validation
These people constantly need validation from you. They ask you silly questions like “Do you think I’m enough?” They ask because they aren’t confident in themselves.
They need your words to feel better about who they are.
Conclusion
What is love bombing? Love bombing is when someone gives you constant attention, affection, and compliments all at once.
Key Points on Love Bombing:
- Insecurity – Some people give a lot of attention because they don’t feel good about themselves and want others to like them.
- Fear of rejection – They feels scared that you’ll leave them, so they try to keep you close by being super affectionate.
- Emotional manipulation – They try to control how you feel, so you depend on them for love and care.
- Desire for quick commitment – Some people want the relationship to move fast, so they give you a lot of love to make you feel close quickly.
- Low self-esteem – People who don’t feel good about themselves can shower you with love. They hope you’ll say nice things back to make them feel better.
- Past trauma or attachment issues – If someone has been hurt before, they give too much love to make themselves feel safe.
- Narcissistic tendencies – Some people try to make everything about them, using love to control how you feel and to make themselves feel important.
Signs of Love Bombing:
- Too many compliments – They say a lot of nice things, but it feels like too much and you start to wonder if they really mean it.
- Unrealistic promises – They talk about big things like marriage too soon, even if you’ve just met.
- Jealousy – They get upset if you talk to other people or spend time with friends because they want all your attention.
- Creating dependency – They want you to need them all the time, so you feel like you can’t be happy without them.
- Moving too fast – They try to rush the relationship. Love bombers talk about big commitments when you’re not ready.
- Making you feel extra special – They do big things to make you feel unique, but it feels like they want something from you.
- Need for constant validation – They keep asking if you like them or not.
How to handle love bombing:
- Spot the signs early to avoid being controlled or manipulated.
- Talk openly with your partner if you feel uncomfortable about how fast things are moving.
- Get advice from a trusted friend or family to understand what’s really going on.
- Set clear boundaries so you don’t feel pressured.
- If the behavior doesn’t change, think about moving on to protect your feelings and happiness.
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