Do you know how many people are taking divorce and what’s the highest reasons for it? Not sure, right? It’s huge number.
The reason for divorce varies all over world due to cultural differences. In some cultures, marriage is considered a taboo. But in others, divorce is viewed as a personal choice.
Today, with changing cultures comes a change in attitude toward divorce.
Young generation is generally more tolerant of divorce than the older generation.
Let’s talk about the top reasons for divorce as per the studies and surveys conducted across various cultures.
The main reasons for divorce
1. Lack of communication
Not talking enough to each other has been considered the most common cause of divorce.
Communication means talking and listening so that you understand each other better.
When there is lack of communication, little problems will become larger, and it leads to frustration.
For example, when couple newly in love, they spend hours talking to each other and shares their thoughts and feelings.
Over time, they start to get busy with work, and the family.
They stop talking about how their day was due to which it gets even harder for them to be together.
When people do not communicate what they need or what is bothering them, then confusion can be portrayed.
And gradually these small feelings can cause a huge emotional gap between them.
Usually in today’s world, both partners are busy. However, time has to be made to talk even if it only for a minute or two a day.
If couples communicate, then both of them will find the solutions together and have more closeness to one another.
2. Infidelity
Infidelity or cheating is when one of the spouses in a marriage secretly goes out with another person.
Cheating breaks the trust between two people, and this sometimes is the reason some marriages have ended in divorce.
Trust is a very central element in any relationship.
Once trust is betrayed, it can be quite tough to mend it. The victim of cheating usually suffers a lot.
And such a pain from infidelity can linger for a long time that leads to separation.
Different cultures have different views regarding cheating.
For some, it’s a very bad thing that people cannot just forgive. In such cases, the only way to recover for such people is divorce.
For example, in some places, if one cheats, shame comes back to the whole family.
In other places, the people may care more about how the couple feels and what they needed. Still, cheating hurts, but some try to mend it if both partners are sorry.
However, even in those cases, the hurt can be so deep that it is troublesome to mend the relationship.
In general, cheating inflicts too much pain and makes it very difficult for the couple to regain trust in each other again. This often leads to divorce because it is very impossible to repair relationships.
3. Money problem
Money can bring many fights into a relationship.
Actually, lack of money can stress, upstage, and infuriate a couple with each other.
If one of the people in the relationship is careless with money, it can worry and infuriate the other for what will probably lie ahead.
For example, one person buys things they do not need, whereas the other wants to save money for something such as a house.
This can lead to fights because they want different things about money.
Arguments sometimes make the couple feel more enemies than a team.
And if their problem with money could not be solved, then perhaps they are too far apart for each other.
4. Growing apart
Sometimes people in a relationship change. They turn out not so close to each other.
Usually, when people first come together as a couple, they often share common interest. Those common hobbies or dreams for the future bring them closer.
Probably they like doing the same things: taking trips, going to the movie, etc.
However, with passing time, people change. They can get new jobs, or new friends.
Let’s consider a couple that, when first meeting, were travelling freaks. They would go on so many journeys together and enjoy them so much.
However, as time progressed, one of them wants to focus on work while the other continued feeling the urge to travel.
As they began to want different things, this made it difficult for them to do things as they used to do.
This is what exactly happens when married couples “grow apart.” At times, they end up feeling they do not even know each other anymore.
Maybe they even start missing the spouse they still stay with.
A relationship is very much like two good friends who once used to play the same game but now wish to play different games.
As a result, a couple thus eventually decide to separate as they feel that they have grown in different directions.
5. Abuse
Abuse means controlling another person in a harmful way. This makes relationships, such as marriages, quite unhappy as well as unsafe.
Therefore, many people decide to leave a marriage because of abuse.
There are different kinds of abuse:
1. Physical abuse –
It arises when one partner injures the other person. They hit or push or even slap that other person.
For instance, if one partner is throwing things at another. This would scare that person really badly.
Physical abuse makes him feel insecure in his own home.
2. Emotional Abuse –
An emotionally abusive person may tell lies like, “You never do the right thing,” or “You are useless.”
If these words are repeated frequently and mostly hurled at you, it makes you feel very pitiful.
3. Mental Abuse –
This is the time when a person tries to control the other person’s life.
For example, “You can’t speak to your friends”.
It makes the other person believe that he or she is in prison and cannot make their choices.
In some societies, there is no discussion of abuse because people want others to think that their family is perfect.
However, with increased revelations about abuse, individuals are learning how to get help as well.
Support groups and help centers provide an avenue where people are at ease to voice out.
Many people leave abusive relationships and begin to live a happier life.
6. Differences in parenting style
Parenting is such a big job for mothers and fathers. However sometimes, they have different ideas as to what is good for their children, which causes difficulties between them.
For example, one parent would want to be strict. According to this parent, children need rules; bedtimes, limited time to play videos, etc.
These rules help kids learn how to show respect and how to be responsible, he believes.
The other parent, however, might tend to think that kids should be granted higher freedom. They tend to believe that sometimes kids should be allowed to stay up a little longer.
Such differences can lead to misconceptions. This makes each parent unhappy with the other.
Parents can also argue over education. One parent wants that children need to study much and attend outside classes to receive good grades.
On the other side, another partner feel that kids should also have free time to play and test new hobbies.
They can also possess other differing religious values. And if parents do not discuss the differences, they grow into big arguments.
In some cases, it may even result in separation.
All in all, it is very important to parents to seek how to find ways to work together, so that their different ideas don’t hurt their relationship.
7. Unrealistic expectations
When two people get married, they are wildly enthusiastic. They have big dreams about the relationship and happiness all the time.
It is even possible that their life will always be filled with love and support. However, as time passes, real life can be quite different from these dreams.
For example, one partner will expect surprises every week, while the other has already considered that just spending the time together is okay.
If they won’t share to each other about the things they want from each other. Then, one partner can get sad and hated, while the other does not have any idea why the other gets upset.
8. Cultural difference
There are parts of the world where marriage is considered something that must be kept forever. People could become forced into staying with a spouse if they are not happy.
The reason behind this is because, in their society, they learn that divorce is shameful. They would feel horrible about themselves when they get a divorce.
Divorce in Traditional Cultures:
For example, in some regions of India, the people believe that marriage is so important more than anything.
One who wants to separate can be warned by the family members as well as friends.
Women particularly are discouraged from divorce because it is their duty to hold together the family.
Thus, some people opt for unhappy marriages in order to avoid shame to their family.
Recently, in many societies, marriage has been perceived by most young people differently.
They see the phenomenon of divorce as a personal decision rather than something to ‘hide’ one’s shame.
Divorce in Western Nations:
Getting divorced is actually quite normal in the United States and parts of Europe.
People believe that if two people don’t like each other, they should feel free to split up.
This way, they can find happiness without bothering about what others think. They choose what’s best for them.
9. No intimacy
For any relationship, intimacy is crucial because it makes love mates feel close to each other and loved.
When this disappears, the relationship starts breaking down.
For instance, initially couple, end up talking a lot as well as having more time to each other.
But as it proceeds, they start involving and busy with work amongst other things. They gradually end up sharing fewer secrets, and hence disconnect each other.
They become roommates rather than loving individuals.
There are many possible causes of a low sex drive. It can be stress at work or medical issues that weigh in on a person’s body.
A person who wakes up every day due to work might not have any energy to communicate, and there is no desire to be close.
When such situations arise, one or both of the partners begin to feel isolated and depressed. They can then start to believe that the other one does not love them.
The relationship will end up being empty.
10. Substance abuse
Addiction is when someone cannot stop doing something destructive even if they cause themselves harm.
For instance, alcohol, drugs, or gambling.
When an individual yields to addiction, it goes against the person but more so affects their family.
Let’s discuss how addiction can damage marriage and at times lead to divorce.
A person with addiction can waste a lot of money on it.
For example, the gambler is going to lose all his money. It makes the family anxious about money and results in fights.
Addiction can make people lie as well.
They lie about where they are and what they are doing. Such lies, after some time, destroy trust, which is a very important component of a good relationship.
At times, addiction causes people to act harmfully. For example, one who drinks too much might easily become furious and beat up his wife.
In return, the house and home will be a no-go zone to many members of their family.
It is very tough and lonely living with a person who has addiction.
Over time, divorce then becomes the only means whereby they can protect themselves and be better off.
Finally, divorce bring peace to the non-addicted person. It’s a difficult choice, but for him, it’s the best choice.
Conclusion
The reasons behind divorce vary between places and cultures.
The main reasons include abuse, financial difficulties, lack of effective communication, infidelity, substance abuse and different parenting style.
Social expectations and family influences also play a role in many countries.
A major difference between India and the US in divorce is the level of social stigma.
In India, divorce is considered a social taboo, especially for women. Many women stay in their marriages to maintain family reputation, social standing, and financial security.
Divorce is considered a failure, not only for the couple but for their families as well.
In the US, divorce is almost a private decision with minimal social stigma.
American society accepts that relationships can end. And this makes people, especially women, at liberty to leave unsatisfying marriages without many judgments.
Although the rates of divorce in India are low, but attitudes among the youth are slowly changing.
Urbanization combined with better education and global influences make divorce seem more acceptable.
Most of the youth today look upon marriage as a companionship rather than a burden for a lifetime.
What’s your highest reasons for divorce? Share your experience in the comments.
