A wedding is a wonderful occasion in everyone’s lives where a new life begins after marriage, but it can also end when it comes to Inter-caste love marriage.
In India, Inter-caste marriage is considered a sin and living in an Indian community where Inter-caste marriage is the biggest battle against societal norms.
Today, if you go back far enough in Indian history, caste was segregated based on occupation, which has now become a barrier for lovers.
Here, in this blog, we take you through 10 practical and simple steps that help you convince your parents.
In our discussions, we will cover everything from open conversations to helping your parents get over their fears.
1.See things from your parents’ perspective
Try to see things from your parent’s point of view first before bringing up the idea of Inter-Caste love marriage.
Your parents might be worried about how the rest of society would react. Also, understand how some tradition or family expectations could have still stuck in their minds.
In some instances, parents fear that you will suffer because of cultural differences.
If you take a minute to put yourself in their shoes you would certainly see why they look uncomfortable.
Only then, you will be able to apply that understanding in your talk.
Make your parents to calm down and listen to them without getting stressed out.
2. Prepare yourself for the conversation
Don’t sit down with your parents unprepared. This is the most serious conversation.
What do you want to say first? Why do you love them? Where do you see yourself, both in the future?
The other thing is to be calm and composed, not anxious, emotional, and irritable. It might make things worse if you are worried or over-emotional.
Practice staying focused while at the same time keep your conversation positive and centered.
Let your parents know how much this relationship means and why you feel you’re doing the right thing.
3. Pick the perfect time to talk
Timing is important. You cannot bring the serious topics like Inter-caste marriage on the table while your parents are most stressed or tired.
You should rather wait for the right moment maybe after a great family dinner or a quiet weekend.
On weekends or vacations most people are chilling out and relaxed. This is the time when they are more willing to listen to your thoughts.
So, take a little time out to analyze your family’s schedule and choose the perfect time and place.
4. Focus on the good side
Highlight the good side of your relationship to your parents while discussing your Inter-caste love marriage.
You can start talking with a positive thought on why your partner is special for you.
Share stories about how they bring joy into your life in some moments and their support through the worst times.
Talk about your values. Let the example be the things you both believe in maybe family values, honesty, or hard work. That way, you will show your parents that you both share something much deeper and stronger.
Keep shining all these positives and let the discussion drift slowly away from caste issues.
Explain that your partner really makes you happy in all respects and an ideal partner in every sense.
5. Address their fears and misconceptions
A lot of parents would be worried over the cultural differences as a result maybe in the future, misunderstandings or conflict happen.
They may also be concerned about their social perception.
You, therefore, need to address your parents’ fears and misconceptions about Inter-caste marriages.
You would first acknowledge why they must feel the same way and then explain how you and your partner have overcome any cultural, religious, or lifestyle differences.
When your partner comes from a different background and celebrates a different festival, you would explain how you enjoy mixing the two traditions together.
You’d discuss how you respect each other’s backgrounds and found common ground.
This helps prove to your parents that not only are you aware of the difficulties but that you’re committed to overcoming them as a team.
6. Involve a mediator
When you feel your Inter-caste love marriage might get too hard, you can take some help from a mediator. It could be some close member of your family or the best friend.
Sometimes, involving another person in the conversation can make all the difference.
A mediator can ease the tension by presenting your case in a manner that resonates with your parents.
Usually, if your parents hear it from someone they love and respect, they tend to open their minds to view things from another perspective.
All you need is to choose that person who really cares about your happiness and can communicate what you feel inside.
It really boils down to creating an environment where everyone feels heard and respected.
7. Give them time and space
Nobody’s parents will agree to them when they talk about Inter-caste love marriage. It’s really hard them to digest.
Only about 30% of the population in India’s urban areas is well educated, while 70% of the people in rural areas still believes in casteism. They are opposed to Inter-caste love marriages.
In the modern world, educated people recognize the reality of oneness and humanity, and they never impose their choices on children.
They quickly adopted to the new changes that is the reason only around 5% of people dare to do Inter-caste marriage and stand against society’s norms.
Lack of education and old beliefs are the first and foremost important reasons why people are against Inter-caste marriage.
Let your parents take their own time; don’t wait for them to agree or understand things as you do immediately.
The more space you let them have, the better is their chance of getting by on their own in regard to the situation.
8. Prepare for opposition
Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.
You need to calm down and not let your parents’ reactions make you upset. All you can do is talk about Inter-caste love marriage respectfully and maintain a peaceful conversation.
They still love you and are worried, though they don’t show it in the precise moment.
You don’t have to surrender to the opinions they have but you also don’t want to be totally hard.
9. Moving forward with or without approval
If your parents do not give you their nod of approval for an Inter-caste marriage, then you have a very hard decision on your hands.
Choosing between family and the love of your life might be really hurting.
However, eventually, it is what suits you that matters.
So, take time before choosing. Think of the consequences, and make sure you are emotionally and mentally prepared for whatever road you take.
You can go ahead even without the permission of your parents if you believe in your relationship. Though, there will be consequences that you have to face.
10. Be financially independent
If you both are financially independent and are responsible, you would not need anyone else to justify your decision-making choices.
And when you both take responsibility for finances, stability and balance will be reflected in the relationship.
Financial independence also manifests to your families that you can provide for each other, yourself, and your children.
It would help to alleviate the fears they have because they know that you are always ready to face any of life’s problems together.
Better management of your finances will finally help you lay a bright foundation to your future.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is an inter-caste marriage and its benefits?
Ans. Inter-caste love marriage is where two people from different cast want to get married. In inter-caste marriage, one of the primary benefits is that it dissolves societal norms and disbeliefs.
Additionally, both the families experience and enjoy the traditions and celebrations of both cultures.
2. Is inter-caste marriage allowed in India?
Ans. Yes, inter-caste marriages are permissible in India. Any person of whatsoever caste can marry another person of the other caste or religion under the special Marriage Act of 1954.
Again, societal acceptance is highly widespread, especially in more conservative societies.
3. What is the money for inter-caste marriage in India?
Ans. The amount could differ from state to state but the national level amount goes up to ₹2.5 lakhs.
We would love to know: have you had an inter-caste, love, or arranged marriage? Share your experience.
