How to help a partner with depression? And you are searching this on Google because you’re worried about your partner, right?
You’ve noticed their mood shifts, and their silence.
Okay, okay. Please stop overthinking.
Let me explain everything to you—what depression really is? How it affects relationships, and, most importantly? How you can genuinely help your partner without feeling helpless yourself.
But before that, promise me you’ll stick till the end.
Without further delay, let’s go.
What exactly depression is?
Depression is a complex mental disorder that influences a person’s emotions, thought patterns, and behavior.
And it varies from person to person, here are some typical symptoms.
Psychological Symptoms:
- Emptiness
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
- Increased frustration
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harm tendencies
Physical Symptoms:
- Irregular sleep patterns
- Fatigue
- Loss of appetite
- Body pain
Behavioral Symptoms:
- Isolation
- Lack of motivation
- Indecisiveness.
How depression affects relationships?
Depression affects relationship in many ways. Here’s how it affects relationships?
1. Feeling disconnected from partner
The person who is in depression feels separated from their partner. They feel emptiness inside and don’t want to talk with anyone around them.
2. Loss of sexuality
Your partner feels lower sex drive. They have constant thoughts in their mind like “I don’t find me attractive anymore.” As a result, they avoid intimacy, and you start feeling unwanted.
3. Mood swings
Depressive patient goes through mood swings. Sometimes they feel happy, angry, guilty, sad, frustrated and so on.
If depression isn’t diagnosed early, it can slowly destroy relationships.
4. Low self-worth
A depressed person feels worse when they think, “You deserve more than I can give.” And another person feels rejected, and unloved.
5. Avoiding responsibilities
Depressed person feels tired all the time therefore they avoid taking responsibilities. As a result, it over burdens other partner and relationship starts to break down.
How to help a partner with depression?
Do’s
1. Listen without judgments
One of the best gifts that you can do for your partner is to just listen. When a person is depressed, they don’t always require advice.
What they do need is someone who will listen, understand, and accept their feelings.
Avoid trying to “fix” their emotions. You can use phrases, such as I understand, I’m here for you.
2. Validate your partners emotions
Validation means letting them know that what they’re feeling is real, understandable, and okay.
Social media has made validation a huge part of our lives. People constantly seek likes, comments, and approval.
For example, when your partner is saying, “I feel like I am unworthy”. Here you can say, I’m sorry you feel this way. I know it’s tough.”
3. Take professional help
The stigma around mental health is still strong, especially in cultures where people are taught to “stay strong”.
Many thinks therapy is only for extreme cases.
Therefore, as a partner, you can encourage them to seek help. Don’t say like, you need therapy. You’re not getting better on your own.
Please be kind and say, I care about you, and I think talking to a professional could really help. I can support you in finding someone if you’d like.
4. Provide support
Depression isn’t a choice, and sometimes people feel guilty for struggling.
Being kind, patient, and understanding can make them feel safe and supported. Kindness is everything.
At times, the smallest things such as sitting in silence with them and holding their hand will suffice. You can prepare their favorite food.
5. Be patient
There’s no quick fix for depression it’s a gradual process that unfolds over time.
As a partner, be patient and do not expect overnight changes.
They are fine on some days and pull back on other days.
As the journey goes along, the other feels helpless, and quite often resentful. You feel so bad to see the one you love to suffer, not being able to “fix it.”
So, the supporter also needs to take care of themselves. If they burn out, they won’t be able to assist their partner well.
6. Take care of yourself too
As one person put it, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, taking care of yourself makes you a better support system for them.
You will feel depleted if you constantly give without recharging your emotional energy.
It is for this reason that it is necessary to remind yourself: I matter too.
7. Remind them they are worthy
Depression makes people feel worthless, and unlovable. They feel like a burden.
They start believing that their partner would be better off without them. You can say some positive words like, “I’m here for you, no matter what”.
Don’ts
1. Don’t dismiss their feeling
You can’t simply “get over” depression, it’s not something you can just get over. Be kind. Most people lack emotional intelligence.
Have conversation with your partner and say to them, “I don’t have all the answers, but I care about you and I’m here to support you.”
2. Don’t take their mood personally
Someone is going through depression; they pull back and appears disinterested in everything they do. Thus, don’t take things personally.
Sometimes they will scream at you, and sometimes they will be sweet to you. Their mood swings are not due to you
3. Don’t force solutions
In depressive phases your partner doesn’t need any advice from you. All they need is for you to listen.
And please, don’t say this, try thinking positive, it’s all in your head. Depression isn’t “fixed” instantly.
First, take care of their emotions, make them feel safe.
4. Don’t compare their pain
Everyone deserves support, no matter how “big” or “small” their pain seems. Therefore, don’t compare your partner’s pain with others.
5. Don’t make them feel guilty
Depressed individuals already have low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, and shame. If their partner accidentally contributes to the guilt, it makes things worse.
Tell them something good, “I know things are tough right now, but you’re not alone. I’m here for you.”
6. Don’t ignore signs
Sometimes, you don’t have to ignore the warning signs of depression. Neither it becomes worst.
When your partner comes to you and says, I am not feeling well. I just feel like crying without any reason. Don’t brush it off.
Never assume they will just get over it. You have to be there with them.
Most people who are going through suicidal thoughts do not even know how to put what they feel into words.
That is why therapy is essential. It is a safe environment where both partners can realize what is going on and receive the appropriate support.
7. Don’t give up on them
Depressive person already feeling low and facing mood swings. So, don’t say, I can’t deal with this anymore to your partner.
Be patient with them.
Frequently Asked Questions
1.How to survive husband’s depression?
Ans. Depression is not a choice. Therefore, be patient, and listen your husband without judgment. Meanwhile in the process of recovery take care of yourself too because the process is really exhausting. you don’t know how much time your husband takes for healing depression.
2. What to do when your partner is depressed and pushing you away?
Ans. Give your partner a space. And make them feel that you are there for them.
3.Can you have a relationship with a depressed person?
Ans. Yes sure, you can have a relationship with depressed, but you must be prepared to cope with the problems.
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