How to deal with a narcissist partner? this question comes in your mind, when you feel ignored and unappreciated in your relationship.
We always imagine love as something magical, and it’s going to make everything better in life.
But sometimes, love is too hard and unfair to be with someone who only thinks of themselves.
A narcissist people begin by being extremely nice and making you feel special. And after some time, they try to control you.
Therefore, to take care of your mental health you need to understand how to deal with a narcissistic partner.
Here’s a simple guide.
But firstly, understand what narcissistic personality is?
What is a narcissistic personality?
Narcissist people are self-lovers. They love themselves too much.
People with narcissistic personality love to talk all the good things about themselves.
In relationship narcissist people try to control you. They don’t care about your feelings. These people primarily focus on their own desires.
Signs of a narcissist partner
Here are 7 most important signs of a narcissist partner that you should consider.
1. Attention seekers
An attention seeker is a person who always wants to be in the limelight. They will talk about themselves.
Sometimes, such behavior makes other people feel that they are ignored because the attention seeker is focused only on getting eyes on them.
Signs
They interrupt others to bring the conversation back to themselves.
They tend to stretch stories to appear more exciting.
They act out just to get people to notice them.
2. Lack of empathy
Narcistic people has lack of empathy. They don’t care whatever you are going through.
They just can’t relate to your situation by putting themselves in other peoples’ shoes.
They only care for their emotions and not yours.
3. Manipulative behavior
A manipulative person tries to make you do things his/her way. They make you feel not good if you don’t do what they want.
They would twist your words to bring feelings of guilt upon you.
4. Constantly compares you to others
Narcistic partner constantly compare you to others. They taunt you for every single thing like “Why can’t you be more like Ishita? You should learn something from her.
And when they use these words, self-doubts arise in you. You feel insecure when your partner compares you to others.
When they keep doing this, it makes you feel unsure of yourself. You start doubting on yourself, “Am I doing something wrong?”
5. Self-centered
Self-centered people focus only on their needs and feelings. Whenever, they want to take any decisions about life they don’t consider your suggestions.
They act like they are over smart and intellectual than you.
These people rarely do things for others without expecting something in return.
6. Emotional invalidation
Narcissist people are emotionally unavailable for you. When you need them around you in your down moments, they tolerate you.
They say that “You are overreacting”. They make you feel like that your feelings aren’t important.
7. Never accept responsibility
Irresponsible people do not accept their mistakes. They blame you for their mistakes.
These people never ask you apology.
In relationships, as it feels like you’re the only one is responsible for everything.
How to deal with a narcissist partner?
You cannot change anyone until they want to, and narcissist partner is not an exception.
Therefore, when you learn how to deal with a narcissist partner, it will help protect your self-esteem.
1. Don’t take things personally
Whatever people say or do with you hurt you a lot. However, actually it is not concerning you they have a bad day.
When it happens to you, tell yourself: “It’s not my fault.” “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
This self-talk make you feel better and remind you that you don’t need to carry their problems.
So, when someone is being mean, breathe. Let the words just blow away like balloons floating up into the sky.
You are great, just as you are.
2. Limit emotional reactions
Your feelings are valid because of your partners narcissistic behavior but don’t react to everything. Stay calm and breath.
When you stay calm, you can handle the situation better.
You don’t have to match someone else’s bad mood. Be at peace and respond with kindness.
3. Stay calm and don’t engage in arguments
Narcistic partner tries to find reason to argue with you.
So, when you are trying to figure out how to deal with a narcissist partner, pause and avoid acting in the moment.
Sometimes, saying less is better. Narcissistic people want to control the conversation.
If the argument keeps going in circles, you don’t need to explain yourself.
4. Try therapy
When misunderstandings keep happening in your relationship, therapy will surely help you.
A therapist helps you both speak with each other without fighting. Therapy helps you understand your partner’s feelings, and behavior.
It’s a place where both of you can heal, grow, and further strengthen your bond.
5. Focus on self-care
Taking care of yourself is just super important. Self-care keeps you strong, happy, and balanced.
Spend your time doing stuff you like – reading, exercise, or travelling.
Health is always a priority: eat well, sleep enough, and stay active to keep the body and the mind in tip-top shape.
Find activities that recharge you.
Use your time with those who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself.
And at the end you will definitely figure out how to deal with a narcissist partner in a balanced way.
6. Take charge of your own life
You have a control of your happiness and future. Think about what you will achieve in life, be it in a career, health and relationship.
Do what feels right to you.
No one needs permission to live life the way he or she wants. Go for your dreams.
Don’t wait for your narcissist partner to make you happy. Instead, get happiness out of whatever it is that gives you joy or matters to you.
You shouldn’t allow people to drag you down emotionally.
7. Have an exit plan
Sometimes, with lousy relationships, it helps to have a plan for when things aren’t healthy.
If something feels wrong, take action to protect yourself.
Think about places you can go for support, like a friend’s house or family. You can leave narcissistic partner for your happiness.
And when you understand how to deal with a narcissist partner, you make better choices for yourself.
8. Low expectations
Having low expectations in relationships makes you feel less disappointed and stressed.
However, keeping your expectations realistic and gentle will help you have peace of mind.
Don’t expect perfection from your narcissist partner. Mistakes are always made, and no one can always meet your needs. It’s okay to accept people as they are, with flaws and all.
Focus on the blessings and be grateful.
Let your partner know what you need, but do not ask for too much. Keep it on yourself.
When you look upon yourself for happiness, you won’t feel so disappointed by others.
9. Use “I” statements
Make use of “I” statements when you are in a conflicting situation with your narcissistic partner. You could say your feelings calmly without blaming the other person using the “I” statement.
For example, do not say that “You never listen to me.” Say this instead: “I feel that I am not being valued.”
Use “I feel,” “I think,” or even “I need” so you can claim and own your feeling.
When thinking of how to deal with a narcissist partner, avoid blaming words like “You make me feel” or “You always.”
State differently, using more positive and kind words. Don’t, use blaming words.
Don’t say “I’m upset because…”, instead say this “You upset me by…”
The use of “I” statements ensures that the whole conversation is kept peaceful.
And the other person does not find it so hard to understand what you are feeling.
10. Be independent
Take care of yourself in all respects—emotionally and financially—without waiting for someone else to do it for you.
This is how you are able to maintain your strength and confidence regardless of what may come your way within your relationships.
Be confident in who you are. Believe in your potential.
You do not need anyone to prove your worthiness and goodness as a person.
Have your hobbies and interests. Find stuff you love to do by yourself, like reading, exercising, or doing a passion.
Work towards your own dreams and ambitions.
Don’t be afraid of spending time alone. Enjoy time spent with yourself. It recharges you and lets you reflect on what is important to you.
You are enough on your own.
These are the 10 proven tips on how to deal with a narcissist partner. Prioritize your own needs and set healthy boundaries: that is how you preserve your happiness.
Be strong, stay true to yourself, and remember that you deserve love and respect in any relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship?
Ans. Narcissist partners protect their self-image. They blame you and play the victim. They try to reconnect to keep you in their life.
2. Who is the perfect partner for a narcissist?
Ans. The “perfect partner” for a narcissist is an empathetic and patient person. Relationships, work on mutual respect and equality only.
3. How do I communicate effectively with a narcissistic partner?
Ans. Communicate calmly and clearly. Draw boundaries and stay on them. Do not fight and most importantly use the “I” statements in order to present your feelings without accusing.
4. Is it possible for a narcissist to change their behavior?
Ans. Yes, it’s possible, but change requires constant efforts and the true intent to correct it. A narcissistic person has to realize his or her behavior and work on it. At the end, it’s a personal journey, and these people can’t be changed by someone else.
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