I am damn sure you fought with your partner. That’s why you are looking for an answer, how to resolve conflict in marriage?
In this blog article, we will talk about practical tips for resolving conflict in marriage.
Let’s begin one by one.
1. Identify the reason behind conflict in marriage
Firstly, identify the reasons behind conflicts. Is there any silly reason or serious reason for that you are fighting with each other?
Ask yourself:
- Is it a small problem like forgetting to share something?
- Or is it a big problem like feeling hurt or ignored?
Sometimes, fights happen over tiny things.
For instance, you and your wife are fighting for movie date.
Other times, fights happen because of big feelings, like trust issues.
Therefore, identify the real reasons behind conflicts to find out solutions.
2. Communicate and understand your partners perspective
After identifying the reasons, have communication with your partner. While communicating, make sure your partner is in good mood.
If your partner is in anger, and when you talk about yesterday’s fight. Your partner will fight you again.
Therefore, make sure your partner is in listening mood.
The right time helps both of you talk and listen without getting mad.
3. Take a pause, not a break
When you feel conflicts are so extreme level. Make sure, you take some time.
Go outside of your home just to calm yourself down.
Respect each other’s space.
Every time you both fight come to the agreement that when one partner is in anger another should try to step back and be silent.
4. Use a conflict journal
Write down what happened during the argument, how you felt, and what triggered the situation.
For instance, your husband fought with you for not having a dinner on time. You felt hurt due to his harsh words.
By jotting this down, you know why you are upset and how to avoid getting into such situations again.
5. Create a “safe space” to address conflict in marriage
Find a comfortable place where you both can talk on any complicated topic.
Firstly, check out your partner’s mood, if they are comfortable only then talk.
Their comfort should be your first priority.
During the conversation when you feel your partner is getting uncomfortable change the topic.
6. Use “I” statements to express feelings.
Have respect for each other’s feelings. Don’t blame each other. Find what’s wrong not who’s wrong.
In your married life, problems need to address because no one is perfect.
All you have to do is, use the word “I” during conversation.
For instance, actually, it’s not your fault. I think I expected too much from you and that’s why I get hurt. Can we talk about this calmly?
7. Focus on resolving one issue at a time
Couples in a relationship brings their all the past conflicts on a table.
When you talk everything at once the situations will get worse.
Therefore, make sure you talk on a one problem at a time.
8. Respect each other’s “cooling off” period
Give each other time to get out of pain or hurt that caused due to conflicts. Once they get out of pain then say sorry even if you are not wrong.
Let them take their own time.
Don’t pressure them to talk before they’re ready.
9. Acknowledge and appreciate efforts to resolve conflicts
Acknowledge when your partner is making an effort to resolve the conflicts. Appreciate their effort because they value your relationship.
They value you.
Whenever you want to talk with them, they are always ready to listen to you.
For instance, when you are disturbed, and want to talk. You can say, thank you for giving your time.
10. Seek outside help when needed
Third person sees your conflicts in a different angle.
That’s why it’s important to get help from Counceller or family members.
However, when you seek help from anyone make sure you both openly communicate with the Counceller. So, that they will help you in solving your conflicts.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are the main causes of conflict in marriage?
Ans. The causes of conflicts in marriage includes communication issues, family interference, differences in opinions, and mismatched expectations.
2. What are the best conflict resolution techniques for couples?
Ans. Here are the best conflict resolution techniques for married couples: identify the root cause, choose a calm time to talk, jot down your feelings in a conflict journal, focus on one issue at a time, and seek help when needed.
3. When should we consider marriage counseling for conflict resolution?
Ans. Couples should consider marriage Counceller for conflict resolution, when the fights are out of control. There’s no communication between partners.
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